Monday, April 27, 2009
back at the same coffee shop as yesterday. took about as much time to find as the first time. jess wasn't impressed as she sweat off 5 pounds on route of a repetition of walking the same blocks thrice over. maybe she's recovered and merciful, either way she agreed to not hold it against me for the next 16 years. o lee!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
a quick note.
we are in washington d.c.
i'm in a coffee shop, it took a long while to finally find one with fair trade coffee as starbucks are in abundance and this neighborhood has little local ethical shops. but found one!
it would be boresome if i listed the details of our last few days, but absolutely has been such a wonderful time with my travel friends. i love them.
yesturday we visited the simple way, and really would rather tell people about the community in person, so call me for a tea when i get home! but did have lunch with shane c. and company in their living room and was a wonderful 'simple' experience of cleaning the streets and chatting with some of the neighbors. it's surreal to have read irresistable a couple years ago and the minds eye create something very similar to reality. i am processing, and will be doing a lot more, of how what we've been seeing on this trip is relevent to our culture in calgary and to what application.
and about to go meet jim wallis and get my volunteer training on. it's hot in dc, 32 celcius right now!
we are in washington d.c.
i'm in a coffee shop, it took a long while to finally find one with fair trade coffee as starbucks are in abundance and this neighborhood has little local ethical shops. but found one!
it would be boresome if i listed the details of our last few days, but absolutely has been such a wonderful time with my travel friends. i love them.
yesturday we visited the simple way, and really would rather tell people about the community in person, so call me for a tea when i get home! but did have lunch with shane c. and company in their living room and was a wonderful 'simple' experience of cleaning the streets and chatting with some of the neighbors. it's surreal to have read irresistable a couple years ago and the minds eye create something very similar to reality. i am processing, and will be doing a lot more, of how what we've been seeing on this trip is relevent to our culture in calgary and to what application.
and about to go meet jim wallis and get my volunteer training on. it's hot in dc, 32 celcius right now!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
felt a lightness today. wrote a final but didn't matter. what's the difference between an A or B?
able to sit outside the roasterie and listen to a man play guitar just like stevie ray vaughn, he was dressed like stevie ray and made facial gestures like stevie ray. he stopped short one song and told me that god is in everything and would never let anyone experience post mordem harm. i listened. thats what our generation of post modern narrative listeners do well...listen. i'm quite sure his world view is panentheistic. i was in no apologetic (debating) type of mood so just chilled and listened. i had met him two days earlier at a coffee shop and we argued the scholarship issues of the new testatment.
then i sun bathed at riley park. hannah called. jess arrived at the park on her new bike.
went downtown on my skateboard to mec with jess, ate vietnamese subs, and then cafe beano. met a man from the congo. he is a refugee with a disability and on assured income for the severely handicapped. he is sad because his family is back in the violence of the turbulence of the congo, likely in a refugee camp.
and it was nice to chat.
felt a lightness today.
i have no cord to connect my camera to my computer, so the last 8 months or so have been pictureless. but today i was looking at last years pics. i think i'll post a pic every couple days that i just enjoy...
this picture was likely taken on exactly this day, a year ago. it is in Nekept, Ethiopia. i love the reactions from the children as they likely think i'm a ghost, as most in this town had never seen a white person before.
able to sit outside the roasterie and listen to a man play guitar just like stevie ray vaughn, he was dressed like stevie ray and made facial gestures like stevie ray. he stopped short one song and told me that god is in everything and would never let anyone experience post mordem harm. i listened. thats what our generation of post modern narrative listeners do well...listen. i'm quite sure his world view is panentheistic. i was in no apologetic (debating) type of mood so just chilled and listened. i had met him two days earlier at a coffee shop and we argued the scholarship issues of the new testatment.
then i sun bathed at riley park. hannah called. jess arrived at the park on her new bike.
went downtown on my skateboard to mec with jess, ate vietnamese subs, and then cafe beano. met a man from the congo. he is a refugee with a disability and on assured income for the severely handicapped. he is sad because his family is back in the violence of the turbulence of the congo, likely in a refugee camp.
and it was nice to chat.
felt a lightness today.
i have no cord to connect my camera to my computer, so the last 8 months or so have been pictureless. but today i was looking at last years pics. i think i'll post a pic every couple days that i just enjoy...
this picture was likely taken on exactly this day, a year ago. it is in Nekept, Ethiopia. i love the reactions from the children as they likely think i'm a ghost, as most in this town had never seen a white person before.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Afghanistan
working at a homeless shelter for 6 1/2 years you see a lot. you hear a lot of stories why people are on the street. when you think you've seen it all, you are constantly mistaken.
this evening, near the end of my shift, a man approaches me at the front door. he smells like body odor, unshaved, broken english, shaking. he shows me his arm, it has a hospital tag bracelet.
he tells me his story. i tell you his story.
he arrived in Calgary this morning. he was rushed to a hospital because his kidneys were not doing good, he was peeing blood. he was just discharged from the hospital with no where to go but they gave him the Mustard Seeds address.
i ask "where did you come from"
he's still shaking, and apparently this was a hard one to answer as he tears up. mexico; but he spent the last 9 days locked in the back of a shipping truck with very little space to even turn around. he arrived in Mexico from Afghanistan on april 4 and made arrangements to be illegally smuggled into Canada so he could apply for refugee status.
9 days, two borders, no room, a couple bags of chips, a couple bottles of water, and a couple bags to pee and poo in. he thought he was going to die. when i talked to him, he hadn't slept once in those 9 days. i cannot imagine. and so i bring him to our shelter, and so begins his life in canada.
i find this super tough. i hear of refugees, but rarely, and this is the first time i've actually been one of the first contacts. when he arrived this morning, he didn't even know where in canada he was. he is so weak, so broken, and emotions on my end can hardly contain it. i pray so hard that canada welcomes him and eases his burdens. i pray that my work place does not fail him and shows him dignity and hospitality. i pray that he will be able to thank God for a new life.
____________________________
July 13 Update
This man I have met with several times since his recent arrival.
He has spent 2 months at the Seed, he has received refugee status, he has received funding from Immigration for $600 a month, and he has just started rented a shared place for $560 a month.
He is in the process of aquiring a work permit, but that will take another month or so to get. So at this point, he is living in poverty with little he can do about it.
I have approached the Seed about giving him donated gift certificates, but they have none. I rarely, scratch that, never ask for money on behalf of others but he genuinely needs help. I recommend gift certificates. We hear of over a billion people globally living on less than a dollar a day, but this is happening here too.
this evening, near the end of my shift, a man approaches me at the front door. he smells like body odor, unshaved, broken english, shaking. he shows me his arm, it has a hospital tag bracelet.
he tells me his story. i tell you his story.
he arrived in Calgary this morning. he was rushed to a hospital because his kidneys were not doing good, he was peeing blood. he was just discharged from the hospital with no where to go but they gave him the Mustard Seeds address.
i ask "where did you come from"
he's still shaking, and apparently this was a hard one to answer as he tears up. mexico; but he spent the last 9 days locked in the back of a shipping truck with very little space to even turn around. he arrived in Mexico from Afghanistan on april 4 and made arrangements to be illegally smuggled into Canada so he could apply for refugee status.
9 days, two borders, no room, a couple bags of chips, a couple bottles of water, and a couple bags to pee and poo in. he thought he was going to die. when i talked to him, he hadn't slept once in those 9 days. i cannot imagine. and so i bring him to our shelter, and so begins his life in canada.
i find this super tough. i hear of refugees, but rarely, and this is the first time i've actually been one of the first contacts. when he arrived this morning, he didn't even know where in canada he was. he is so weak, so broken, and emotions on my end can hardly contain it. i pray so hard that canada welcomes him and eases his burdens. i pray that my work place does not fail him and shows him dignity and hospitality. i pray that he will be able to thank God for a new life.
____________________________
July 13 Update
This man I have met with several times since his recent arrival.
He has spent 2 months at the Seed, he has received refugee status, he has received funding from Immigration for $600 a month, and he has just started rented a shared place for $560 a month.
He is in the process of aquiring a work permit, but that will take another month or so to get. So at this point, he is living in poverty with little he can do about it.
I have approached the Seed about giving him donated gift certificates, but they have none. I rarely, scratch that, never ask for money on behalf of others but he genuinely needs help. I recommend gift certificates. We hear of over a billion people globally living on less than a dollar a day, but this is happening here too.
responsible/irresponsible
you know when you should study for your Hermeneutics Final thats in 10 hours, but know you shouldn't study for your Hermeneutics Final...
it's sorta like the backwards kingdom.
we are called by God to be irresponsibly responsible, when society forces the responsibly irresponsible.
i might need to explain.
a lot of what Jesus would have us do would be seen as irresponsible. examples: loving your enemy, selling your belongings and following him, dying to yourself, picking up your cross, turning the other cheek, et cetera... he calls us to be irresponsibly responsible.
society has a different ethics. eg: american dream, 2 cars, nice house, saving accounts, retirement funds, masters degree, beware of strangers, bomb your enemies. thus, being we become responsibly irresponsible.
what does this have to do with me not studying? well, i'm going to take 10 minutes of study time to share a story in the next post. i feel my time will best be used replaying what i just experienced, and how i feel about it... read next blog....
it's sorta like the backwards kingdom.
we are called by God to be irresponsibly responsible, when society forces the responsibly irresponsible.
i might need to explain.
a lot of what Jesus would have us do would be seen as irresponsible. examples: loving your enemy, selling your belongings and following him, dying to yourself, picking up your cross, turning the other cheek, et cetera... he calls us to be irresponsibly responsible.
society has a different ethics. eg: american dream, 2 cars, nice house, saving accounts, retirement funds, masters degree, beware of strangers, bomb your enemies. thus, being we become responsibly irresponsible.
what does this have to do with me not studying? well, i'm going to take 10 minutes of study time to share a story in the next post. i feel my time will best be used replaying what i just experienced, and how i feel about it... read next blog....
Saturday, April 18, 2009
a saturday of ...
my day...
i didn't pick up my phone once.
i locked myself out of the apartment
i drank coffee on the patio, it was too cold at 9 am but did none-the-less
my nose turned red, i have a cold
i started a new book
i watched some of cricket in the park
i ran into several people i know at the market collective
i drank a bevy on a patio with friends
i searched for male friends on blogspot, found none
i searched female friends on blogspot, found many
i only ate a bagel, nachos, and an ice cream sandwich, my appetite leaves with my cold
i recorded a reggae song
i self-medicated with gravol and advil
i wrote my mayor and aldermen
i did the dishes...some of dishes...enough dishes for nachos
i showered twice
i didn't change the world
i didn't pick up my phone once.
i locked myself out of the apartment
i drank coffee on the patio, it was too cold at 9 am but did none-the-less
my nose turned red, i have a cold
i started a new book
i watched some of cricket in the park
i ran into several people i know at the market collective
i drank a bevy on a patio with friends
i searched for male friends on blogspot, found none
i searched female friends on blogspot, found many
i only ate a bagel, nachos, and an ice cream sandwich, my appetite leaves with my cold
i recorded a reggae song
i self-medicated with gravol and advil
i wrote my mayor and aldermen
i did the dishes...some of dishes...enough dishes for nachos
i showered twice
i didn't change the world
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
typical
in typical lee fashion, i missed out.
apparently there was an awards ceremony at college, and apparently i won two scholarships, apparently you can win scholarships without applying for them, and apparently i should have known i won two scholarships because apparently i was emailed about them.
anyways, i wasn't able to give a speech :( i think my classmates have likely heard enough of me go off on tangents tho.
i honestly thought the faculty hated me for my antics. but maybe not. i feel honored that they've awarded me. i should email them and let them know that.
this might seem like an isolated incident but it's not. once all the staff at the Mustard Seed had a large lunch in honor of me leaving (i quit, yet i returned a couple months later). there were about 60 of them and none of me. i was reading a book and brendan called me and told me i was an idiot. i mention that's not a nice way to start a conversation and then he reminds me of my going away party that i was missing. wow.
i think, somehow, someway, i will miss my own funeral. everyone will be gathered to remember me and pray blessings on my soul, and my corpse will have been delivered to the wrong chapel.
apparently there was an awards ceremony at college, and apparently i won two scholarships, apparently you can win scholarships without applying for them, and apparently i should have known i won two scholarships because apparently i was emailed about them.
anyways, i wasn't able to give a speech :( i think my classmates have likely heard enough of me go off on tangents tho.
i honestly thought the faculty hated me for my antics. but maybe not. i feel honored that they've awarded me. i should email them and let them know that.
this might seem like an isolated incident but it's not. once all the staff at the Mustard Seed had a large lunch in honor of me leaving (i quit, yet i returned a couple months later). there were about 60 of them and none of me. i was reading a book and brendan called me and told me i was an idiot. i mention that's not a nice way to start a conversation and then he reminds me of my going away party that i was missing. wow.
i think, somehow, someway, i will miss my own funeral. everyone will be gathered to remember me and pray blessings on my soul, and my corpse will have been delivered to the wrong chapel.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
a panic
had a panic today that my life was dictated by everyone/everything but me.
meetings daily, homework, coffee meetings, emailing, phone calls, church services, organizing events, hosting volunteer teams, work at the office, work at the shelter, counseling, reference letters, presentations, hospital visits, sermons to write... hustle bustle... no down time.
then i realized yes...my life IS not my own. that is the way it is to be.
when I chose the life of the ministry i chose that my success is seeing others succeed. my success must be sitting on sidewalk meeting the pan-handler and talk for half an hour despite the fact i haven't taken a proper day off in two weeks and feel so anxious to take an afternoon of anti-social sabatical. it is a life of adventure that is dictated by the fact that I pray in the morning, "not my agenda...yours Lord Jesus. motivate me to love, my God."
yes, i might bitch that i have no time for lee yet it is a joy. really. the greatest joy comes when someone calls and says "help". i prefer goods news on the phone, yet when people include me in their crisis and ask me to sit and mourn with them, there is no other honor comparable.
meetings daily, homework, coffee meetings, emailing, phone calls, church services, organizing events, hosting volunteer teams, work at the office, work at the shelter, counseling, reference letters, presentations, hospital visits, sermons to write... hustle bustle... no down time.
then i realized yes...my life IS not my own. that is the way it is to be.
when I chose the life of the ministry i chose that my success is seeing others succeed. my success must be sitting on sidewalk meeting the pan-handler and talk for half an hour despite the fact i haven't taken a proper day off in two weeks and feel so anxious to take an afternoon of anti-social sabatical. it is a life of adventure that is dictated by the fact that I pray in the morning, "not my agenda...yours Lord Jesus. motivate me to love, my God."
yes, i might bitch that i have no time for lee yet it is a joy. really. the greatest joy comes when someone calls and says "help". i prefer goods news on the phone, yet when people include me in their crisis and ask me to sit and mourn with them, there is no other honor comparable.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
wilco
if i wasn't listening to wilco, i would be depressed that it's 10pm on a saturday and i'm writting an ethics paper on just-war/pacifism, environmental conservation, and pre-enlightenment/post-modern narratives.
i love jesus. sometimes when you pray audibly and thank God for his sacrifice on the cross it hits hard. that is the power of the gospel, this sacred sacrifice. paul at times mentioned that he intensionaly forgot everything except the cross. the things i can make the faith have nothing to do with this at times, yet what a thing to contemplate: sacrificial love.
work at the Seed went well. i was told i was f*ck face a couple times and that's ok.
i love jesus. sometimes when you pray audibly and thank God for his sacrifice on the cross it hits hard. that is the power of the gospel, this sacred sacrifice. paul at times mentioned that he intensionaly forgot everything except the cross. the things i can make the faith have nothing to do with this at times, yet what a thing to contemplate: sacrificial love.
work at the Seed went well. i was told i was f*ck face a couple times and that's ok.
Friday, April 3, 2009
What a day of ups and downs.
It started with an ethics class on divorce and remarriage. According to how things look, I'm pooched. Some indirectly concluded the following (prof. included):
- Lee's ex-wife apostated
- Lee's ex-wife committed adultery
- Lee's ex-wife left him
- Lee's ex-wife got pregnant with another man
- Lee's ex-wife divorced Lee
- Yet Lee is not allowed to remarry because of the text of the New Testament
I could not but feel like a second-class person after this lecture. How could you not really?! Did God not give us a brain to discern what is appropriate or not? Is not the bible absent of many situations that arise (such as an abused wife? can she not re-marry too?) ? Is a covenant breech from one party find the other guilty too? Are you not allowed to have children or a family because you're partner did, with the wrong person?
It's weird to think that I wouldn't feel guilty before God getting re-married, yet some interpret the text of God as something that would condemn me. How do victims fit into this really? It doesn't say yet we cling on to such commands that are not addressing the same situations and make dogma.
Lord judge me, others please leave it to him to so and i'll be happy or damned by it.
Then I went to a wonderful party at Angel's house. My friends made me food and loved on me. And they hugged me. And I knew I had a Christian family who loved me as I am. I knew Jesus was present in these sacred relationships. I knew that my covenant relationships do not have to include marriage or consummation.
It started with an ethics class on divorce and remarriage. According to how things look, I'm pooched. Some indirectly concluded the following (prof. included):
- Lee's ex-wife apostated
- Lee's ex-wife committed adultery
- Lee's ex-wife left him
- Lee's ex-wife got pregnant with another man
- Lee's ex-wife divorced Lee
- Yet Lee is not allowed to remarry because of the text of the New Testament
I could not but feel like a second-class person after this lecture. How could you not really?! Did God not give us a brain to discern what is appropriate or not? Is not the bible absent of many situations that arise (such as an abused wife? can she not re-marry too?) ? Is a covenant breech from one party find the other guilty too? Are you not allowed to have children or a family because you're partner did, with the wrong person?
It's weird to think that I wouldn't feel guilty before God getting re-married, yet some interpret the text of God as something that would condemn me. How do victims fit into this really? It doesn't say yet we cling on to such commands that are not addressing the same situations and make dogma.
Lord judge me, others please leave it to him to so and i'll be happy or damned by it.
Then I went to a wonderful party at Angel's house. My friends made me food and loved on me. And they hugged me. And I knew I had a Christian family who loved me as I am. I knew Jesus was present in these sacred relationships. I knew that my covenant relationships do not have to include marriage or consummation.
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