How not to quit

Been gone all weekend to YC Edmonton with the youth group.

2 months ago I gave my notice at the church- there has been no announcement from the church yet it had slowly leaked and some of the youth were curious if the news from the grapevine was true.

Anyways, I learned how not to quit. Don't plan your last activity with your youth group to be a 3 day intensive road trip...because you cannot but love your kids more than ever and love their quirky personalities more than ever. Absolutely hated the conference but all the time spent with the kids is now heartbreaking. I thought I could step away from this job without emotion, and I did successfully tell the kids without teary eyes why I am leaving, yet I do have regrets that it's over. Two years and a new season. Two years and I can say that I'm genuinely sad...really heart broken.

talked to nicole. that made my day.
jess is back and i received a big hug. that also made my day.
new friend brian seems fabulous.
my recycling is organized for drop-off.
i have the day off tomorrow.
need a haircut.
planning out the trip to see mewithoutyou in portland and seattle.
new reggae song i'm working on is sounding A grade.

things seem to be falling into place. community meals in kensignton. the discovery of a hospice a 10 minute walk away. a connection to the single-mother apartment complex. friends moving to my neighborhood. and new friends i've made in the neighborhood. anyone want to donate 750,000 so we can purchase a christian community/outreach house in kensignton? really.

happy with my family of friends, yet really want to procreate and have little ones soon.

going out of town for 4 days on friday to mountain aire with new friends i've made at the Seed.
the decision to NOT take summer classes and instead have jam sessions, bbq's, and friends over to riley park for frisbee fun after work shifts.

i sit in bed, 10:40 am.

i've been quite the recluse the last 3 days. maybe it's in protest because two of my bestest friends are in different countries! i think it's because i don't have the mental capacity at the moment to create creative entertainment, a book will do. reading crime & punishment by fyodor dostoyevshky and absolutely loving it.

in my monk state, i did manage to go for a run. i often challenge people to do what makes them feel good (healthy coping), and i decided to take my own advice. the last couple months running has been sporatic.

life is a long gruelling run. paul says so, so does the author of hebrews. "i have run the race, i have fought the good fight..."
we've adopted many metaphors for life: life is like a box of chocolates, life is a party, life's a bitch, life's like a donught: either you're in the dough or in the hole, life's a journey not a destination, et cetera.

ambrose when challenged with the thought that God must be unjust since the good are often in want and the wicked in abundance, made reference to the metaphor of race. he said, paraphrased mind you, that the good's reward are not in this present lifetime. the wicked living in luxury are those who have dropped out of the race, they are merely spectators and receive no glory afterward. something that made me think.

going to meet with hannah at the farmers market, so should shower and eat.

once

feel weird. starting watching the movie 'once', and that lasted 30 minutes. i think i might enjoy it, but movies always bring me on rabbit trails of thoughts, and unless i'm watching a movie with others, will take five or six sittings until i finish.

i'm in an awkward place, not necessarily a bad one. this morning i spent an hour on the sofa without movement. and i thought to myself, i could do this for a month...and then i went to the office.

i heard a preacher on sunday at westside kings make this statement "if you brag about being so busy that you have been neglecting taking the sabath off, it's as stupid as bragging about your porno video collection".

i have an entire wednesday as my sabbath tomorrow. my phone is off. my leisure will be contemplation and praise.

in terms of the rest of my day today, i was offered the job at the seed that i interviewed for. so monday i start in the community education role. i'm happy. that is my skill set, mobilizing youth.

and talked to Ron on the street corner for a while. he was going off on some delightful tangents. i found an article on him dating back from 10 years ago, have a read if you like: http://www.ffwdweekly.com/Issues/1999/0923/cover1.html

and about to light a couple candles and tell jesus that i love him.

many different interpretations

this picture i can stare at for many moments. my friend john took it when we were in gimby ethiopia. my mother actually had it printed onto a large canvas and that hangs on my wall at the office.

what i love is wondering what the donkey is thinking. i think he's vexed that he's carrying fuel for the motorcycle. but there are likely endless interpretation one could have.

was a wonderful day. caught up on sleep. read in riley park. visited my mom. bbq with friends and wonderful dialogue. and i miss you nicole.

arrived home at midnight. was in 6 different states yesturday. that is likely my record.

my mom is in the hospital for a surgery she had on tuesday and i visited her this morning. she's bummed. she downplayed the surgery so much that not a single friend has visited her in the hospital. she commented on the hindu lady beside her room and how she always has heaps of visitors, and she has only had family. is it not integral for the christian to visit the sick? anyways, i'm so proud of my mom. she has a new awarness of the importance of showing love to the lonely in the hospital, and it is definetly something i should be doing more.

had an interview and that went well. played frisbee with jess. went to the cbc used book sell and picked up 5 books for 13 bucks. and ate late night dinner with nathan.

and now ready for the sleep of all sleeps because tomorrow is as busy as always.