democrew

i can't say i've re-adjusted so well from my 4 months away...but am i supposed to?

i remember saying to myself so much in india that when i get home i will seek peace...nothing matters but living in peace for the summer... a reaction to having no contemplative venue or time.

but then i help run a youth program at a homeless shelter for the past 2 weeks (and another one upcoming)...everything but peace. i felt i made the biggest mistake by involving myself in this program until yesterday when the students talked about their experience. the youth got it. they got it that people without homes are not scary...they got to love Jesus is to love all people of all economic classes...they got it that they are a source of many peoples hope through their concern for others.

i love that when i help run these programs i don't just get to "lead" people in caring for others. i, especially this past week, have learned so much from the students - and those without a home.

i have a couple speaking engagements coming up at a church and a gathering. not looking forward to do these formal presentations on india. i would rather spend personal time with those concerned because a presentation requires a quick drive by that will likely end up with exaggerations on my end and miss conceptions on the other. i don't know how to communicate pleasantly that i hate kolkata. i don't know how to censor the fact that's it's so f'ed up and so full of injustice, pain, poverty, and death. i don't know how to romanticize something disgusting - as a friend said the" arse-hole of the world". i don't know how to explain the euphoria of having a day that you seem to fit into the culture, when things click. how, in 5 minutes, do i begin to describe the 60 ladies i worked with from the red light district that are the most resilient and inspiring people i know. God grant me grace...i don't know where to begin.